April 7 2020

April 7, 2020

It is clear outside.
I have never seen the sky so clear, since my childhood.

The Moon is seen up close and personal as I know She is about to culminate right there on my Heaven, where I cleverly put her, so that I could see all her qualities.
Of my becoming.

Through the magnifying glass in my binoculars, I am able to see Her like never before.

The experience merges with the scent of Night. The flowers that are bursting into life, the leaves on the trees and all the breathing from night animals, the soil that is manured with starlight and fresh Air, footsteps coming to worship and connect.

The drum sessions still pulsate in my blood.
The call of the Wild and the Eagle totem that keeps appearing in my dreams.

I reflect on the facts and notions. I sleep better than ever. I eat better, now I have time to cook and be mindful of what I need, want and desire. I can feel what my body needs- rest, dance, walks or feeling the pulse from muscular exercise.

I read when I want to. I am feeling and noticing. Life.

Who do I miss now I am me, myself and I? Who am I? What am I in those relationships? What is important to give, to share, to receive, to harmonize?

Am I even needed and important to anyone?
Is separation an illusion?

Is death even something to be feared-when all I see when I close my eyes, is love and support.
Knowing my Angels. Knowing my loved ones who have already passed are there.
Nurture, feeling safe, and leaving this body and this Earth as easy as falling asleep at night.
Knowing I am held.

Is it life we fear? Lack of love, that make us think we need control and structure, to keep us from going insane? Or is this a welcome cleansing to understand we were always free.

But tonight the Moon is so bright, the Air so enticing, this Earth is so amazingly beautiful.

I am so grateful.
So happy.

 

 

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​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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