The waves of late. Huge. Incoming.
If you can’t swim, you will drown. I swallowed the water and felt sick for days. Not that what the water was dirty (‘I’ve been drinking dirty water’- ref is so 2017) but the resonance within it stirred and awoke was toxic and had been stored for far too long.
The cure is always always way worse than the disease but if you go about that way, the disease part is optional, because it is only there as long as you keep it company and feed it whereas the healing pain lasts for like a minute or a few years and then you are designed to forget it ever hurt. But that time going through the healing pain is what you fear, and so you decide to stay diseased. Or…?
The ability to stay in presence is easily done, when you are not constantly undergoing transformation.
It is easy to maintain your serenity and presence when it is not challenged, if you are not having all your karmic wounds and the ancestral karma mirrored at you all the time.
Anyone who tells you to avoid your emotions are fooling you. If you begin suppressing what is going on within you, because you have been told that you must maintain a perfect state of ‘light’ or must conduct yourself in a perfect state of bliss and gentleness, perhaps you are cheating yourself of that healing pain.
This is part of the unwillingness to enter into the darkness- the journey with Kali, a force that is inside us all, but most of us fear. The dark feminine, the natural ‘destructor’ of all. But if you know cosmic laws, then you know that energy is constant. That means that nothing is destroyed, it is but undergoing transformation.
The feeling of feeling horrible, well that is just the darkness. Those forces are intense. True. And we are told and taught to be nice, to be good, to be pretty and behave well, to not be loud, noisy, inconvenient, mad, uncontrollable- and guess what- this is what this journey entails. Your shadow self grows bigger and darker when you don’t address those natural emotional states. Check them out, see what is not serving you and decide to consciously not embody them. There is a big difference to doing that and running away from them and ignoring them out of sheer embarrassment.
In order to love all of you, you must KNOW yourself. IN order to love yourself, you must love all of what you are. How can you learn to love what you don’t want to know?
In order to be truly aware, truly whole, truly free, you need to do the journey, even if it is ugly, mad, horrible, disturbing and scary. All those emotional states are freeing you to choose what to be and what to align with. Until then it is just a superficial serenity, because what is not acknowledged is not light- but in fact still just dark.
So, journey through- light up that darkness, make it conscious and make it known. Through that aligning with all of it, LOVE will find you. Grace and mercy too. Embrace and embody yourself fully, consciously. Imagine then, the presence you emanate.
This is dedicated to all of you journeying with sacred relationship in particular. Thank you for helping to align the masculine and the feminine in sacred union, where the projection, mirroring and healing the wounds on behalf of the collective darkness is particular intense.
But to everyone going through their darkness. Thank you.