The alignment with love sends waves of electricity through the aching body. Something old and dear is passing through me. Leaving me. Like that old friend that has decided to go, sensing there is no more room or need for his presence.
Like with any death process the body objects. It has held on for so long. The manifestation of this new rejects the old. The pain reminds me I held on too long.
The unwillingness to be free. So instead I carried more. I held on to the wall I had built around my Heart. Petrified. Angry. The old karma. The ancient wound of carrying, clinging to identity. It is deeper than deep, but it is too late now. It is already in progress. Almost complete.
Sometimes the shift from bound to free, from closed to open, from darkened to light, untruth to truth, unsung to sounding has to travel through your physical body as well. Pain isn’t always a reminder that something is wrong. Pain can be an expression of healing. And you have to bear it, let it wash through you. And through this you must be patient. Trust. Have faith.
We are so accustomed to wanting to fix everything that doesn’t fit into our busy days or to the idea of the perfect life. So when you are temporarily out of order, how do you deal with it? Do you power through? Do you take medication to numb the pain, so you won’t feel it, and carry on? Or can you honor what the pain is making you aware of? Where does it hurt? Is it physically? Mentally? Emotionally? Spiritually? Are you talking to you body (-ies)? Listening? Obliging to its needs and wants? Can you take time away from your plans to care for you?
I fully believe it is your job to take care of yourself, to honor yourself, and to love yourself. Every time you ignore this job, you are adding to an unbalance that will grow. In this grander perspective, it is not hard to connect the threads in the web of life and see why we are feeling the way we do. Our manifestation of life on this planet is an expression of this.
So.. Please, do your job. It means loving yourself. Treating yourself with care and respect. Listening to all of your bodies; the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. And make this your responsibility. Do not put this on anybody else.
When you start making this your priority, you will stop expecting it from someone else. Your own love will be enough. Balance is then restored. Your health improves. Your life improves. Your ability to love others unconditionally improves, because you no longer ‘need’ their love, but you appreciate it instead. You will slowly but surely connect and align with the truth: That you yourself are unconditionally love and unconditionally loved. You will not want anything that isn’t meant for you.
You will rejoice on others behalf when they succeed, because you are aligned with love and knowing that because you are love and loved, nothing that is yours will never pass you by.
You will have to rise to claim what is yours though and that may take some practice.
The New Moon in Fixed Water is coming up just before the powerful portal of Samhain. The time is immensely potent and sacred.
Please use this balsamic time to release and give thanks to that which is dying from you. Honor the pain you are feeling. It is a sign of deep processing within your body, whichever one. Heal it. Love it. Be aware of it. Feel how live you really are because pain wakes you up from your sleep.
And then... Come back into love. Why don’t you?