Duir

April 15, 2019

A welcome Heartbeat aligns within mine upon entering. 
This place begins to sing. 
I hum along. Finding the tune. Remembering I know it. 
This sacred land that works as an instant Mother to me. Healing my exhausted soul. There is better company out here. Unconditional love. The seasonal changes and unstable weather is natural. Welcome. 
Silenced and tuned in, aligned to the pulse of life and wisdom asking without knowing I had questions.

The worlds dance and change and morph into the reality I truly live in. Relieved of the matrix, I see all things shining. I know without doubt. I leave the mind that has questions and am instead clarity.

 

I see this place for what it is. The many beings living here just on the other side of the slightly altered state. I know this is home. Sacred land. 
We sit for a while like this and let the dizziness stabilize into alignment of energy frequency. I open the one Eye and continue walking.

Leaving the path and into the field where the deer cross and the Oak dwells. Under his branches and in his embrace, stories are being told. 
The Sun finds us there. 
Duir means door. I enter.

 

Upon the immense work done over the past years under the spell of a phasing Moon on a journey that never seemed to find an ending I am tired. Numb almost. 
Taking refuge in books that suggests absolutes. Taking a break. Flowing along. Until the fatigue and the pain in the lower back screamed for attention.

I denied him passage. I did. I remembered the many stories that traveled within the ancestral line of how that anger must be kept alive. Remembered. I tried to control and change him, instead of setting myself free and do my work. I did open my Heart but was unaware of the wall that wouldn’t come down. That I wouldn’t tear down.

My teacher once said, that if your door is knocked upon and you never open it, the visitors will eventually leave.

The wound is healed. But the physical shock is locked in my body. Still. A key to understanding the many burdens that are stored there. For how many? For whom? And how do I put it down, and who needs it back, really? Who needs to carry their own?


When I look to check if I am still broken, I find I was always whole. It was but the illusion and the belief that I wasn’t. I kept myself in the loop of eternal wanting to fix, instead of letting the belief go and see what would happen, when I moved into my lOve.

Wordless exchange of those energetics replaces the square synastry dynamics. Knowing we are intelligent souls. Once holding your own, exchange in the sacred chambers will be the conversation that is important. Align to your own. There is a world of stars in there. A world of love. A world of sacred exchange. This is yours. This is your love. Sacred. Sharing and giving. Receiving. Being held and holding.

 

 

Knowing what time it is, consciously and deliberately invoking those interstellars. Bringing them onto Earth through this body. Inviting him in.

I am home. This place is sacred to me. A match. A very solid ground that lets me walk in and out of all the worlds and letting me call back all my souls no matter where they wander.

She shrieks as I walk out of the grove. Above me, my old friend. A master of fixed Air. This is her medicine. I smile. A reassurance. A kiss.

I am home. This cycle is new. A new portal is opening. 


I left the woman I was to become the wOman I am. This body I move through. Living, dying, re-birthing. Life.

At the end of this day my hair still smells of forest wind, dirt, trees, spiders, withered leaves, as yet uncoiled ferns, the chill surrounding the ring of rocks, her shrieks from above and a slight scent of Moon-beams and Neptune-winds… and those blessings are rare.

 

Image credit: Ellen Vaman

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​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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