Only after the trials you know what you accomplished.
Have you ever had to be so strong for something you never thought you needed, but there it was staring in your face, adjusting your sails yet again, holding on tighter for dear life, but in fact all you needed was to let go and trust you didn’t have to hold on to anything. The steering wheel being taken from you. A hundred voices whispering, ‘let go’ and you swore the whole world must have gone mad and plotting against you. Panic. Battle.
Ever so often it is good to get mad at gOd. Even if you know gOd is within you, you, part of you, surrounding you. It is healthy to blow steam off. Go against the confinements. Just to see if there is a way you can bend universal laws. Or contradict the free will you agreed to.
This is where you experience the difference between being fated and free. Wrestling with the Angel. The little subtleties of being very close to creation. Your own design. You fall into that space inside where trust and breathing become your life, day in and day out, and everything else falls away. It becomes simple. Time ceases to be a factor. It becomes nothing and everything, just like yourself, and you then see through all illusions. It strips you from wanting. It releases you from all your issues. Nothing becomes important, everything is. What it is. Purpose comes to the forefront of your focus in your stripping and simplifying, you become naked and humble and grace finally finds you, having become visible. Existence finds you. You stood still so things and life could find you, and you realized you happen onto those things meant for you.
You may not like it at first, like any junkie craving your fix, you need to get out of your habits and become still. The poisonous egoic wants that have distracted your cells and spirit from knowing moves through your system and hands you then upon defeat your own will back to you. 'What do you really want?' She asks you lying flat on the sacred ground, Heart to Heart, or through the connection to ley lines under your feet walking sacred routes. The will that is in tune and sync with your soul. What is your path? What is your way? When you have put down ancestral burdens you thought was your plight to carry and fix for your dear parents. For your elders. The expectations. The dos. The norms. What ever other people think of you is and always a projection of their own fear. Haven’t you noticed? Once you release that game, you care not only less, but not at all, what others think and know instead what is yours and pursue it, a change in interactions and synergy occurs?
That is only the beginning! Reconnected to the lOve you are, you are always connected to, that always holds you, supports you and wants you shining your light and take your place in this realm, you let go entirely and just go into that flow. You become the luckiest star. You are not unemotional. You are not detached. You are not care less. You just trust your glow. Your passion is restored. Fear has no power over you. What is there to fear?
You realize as you cry your final fear-tears with one eye, while looking upon joy with the other, that closing both, knowing you don’t need them anymore, opens the one instead that sees. It all. It also sees yourself and all your past darkness that you inflicted on others. The anger. The flaming. The blaming. The demons you sent out into the world. Yes, it is your responsibility to pick up your garbage. To call it back. To undo the damage. To ask for forgiveness. I am sorry. Forgive me. I love you. Thank you. As many times as you need to, until you have released it from this realm and all others. Till you can’t spot that thoughtform in cosmos no more. And you release and let go. And finally you understand what that means. Freedom. Free will. Choice. Companionship and partnership. True lOve.
Peace comes into our lives. Adventure is out there. And we are still here. Alive and kicking. Full of passion and purpose.