The Ocean

November 18, 2018

An eternal endless Ocean. Living lives inside the Woman. She is never calm for long. It is a live body. As wild as any elemental force. Cannot be controlled, but interacts and calls back to every other elemental influence, and if you have ever immersed yourself in her salty essence, you feel the pull in your responding cells that calls you back to origin. To instant memory of being something else originally. The waves are in direct correlation to whatever weather touches her. She cares not whether Sun or clouds are upon her, her reactions are responses to cosmic weather. The inner. The outer. Though her carrier sometimes holds her breath, as is her nature.

 

Taking a moment in time to breathe it all out, the breath held for so long. She wanted to tell him how she let go, though held on and created a space designed to hold him from afar, while he healed and walked the world. How that is why he felt her presence everywhere. How separation is an illusion once you’ve established full contact and shook hands on walking together no matter the constellations or form. How some things are never broken or ended, though they do end and break, it’s but letting go of the old and invoking the new instead. How that knowing is in fact an almost impossible human discipline and task. But by calling into existence only that which honors the sOuls, it is done. At each of their ends of the world, they were doing the same ritual.

 

She wanted to tell him about the tears she never cried. How it was never about credit, space nor lack of consideration. Something entirely bigger was a stake and at play. How sometimes being woman is unbearably impossible in this man constructed world, where a woman is expected to be everything and nothing at the same time. Still. 


Where tears are still seen as emotional release, not strength pouring from exhaustion or just lOve from a trusting Heart that is finally seeing affirmation for her prayers. The waves in a woman’s heart are intimidating and not the salt of the Earth. But she let the need for it go. She trusted he knew from those wordless conversations they had had in that space.

It is a different sacredness coming out into life after the breakdown. A new awareness of existing. A change. Unseen until mirrored back in that sacred space that can only take place between lovers. She knows what the separation was for, how much integration of alloneness connects then to the sacred Heart that holds her own space- for everyone and everything and thus served as an initiation, that took place through the metaphoric desert, now the planet is almost void of access to those sacred landscapes. 
(We aren’t even allowed more than one night in a forest, how are we ever expected to reconnect? Think about it!)

 

Her Heart is healed and she is standing at last in her own independence somewhere in the middle having found a way to open all the doors knocked on simultaneously, and let herself in and out to her balance point in the toolbox of her sOul.

 

The Water and the Waves inside are still wild and free. That is part of her purpose existing in this limiting realm in this time. She moves. She shapes. She heals. She can carry all life. She takes back all that to origin that needs to be reminded of their connection to source. To be gently, but firmly released of egoic momentum.
There is no reason, there is no logic or calculation to when, where and why, you cannot predict her. And you cannot control her Water. It is her very reason for existing, so let her be and just enjoy the motion of the Ocean. That is her gift to you. She has the power to heal you, to hold you.

 

Let her.

 

 Image credit: Howard Pyle, The Mermaid

 

 

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​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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