What are you waiting for?


Waking up to the storm outside. The Moon-night over and dawn coming. I like it when both are visible in the sky. Sol-star rising from above the ocean, where we spent forever waiting, while time moved us forward. A sanctuary. Needing the waves that crash against the shore. It is these joining elemental forces that gently opens the frozen heart back up. Allowing in memories of a future coming. The very foundations I rely on, making all this as real as it gets in this realm of grand illusion. Something is becoming fluid, liquid and soft again. Life returning to those areas that were locked and put away for sake of sanity and strength to push through.

It is the becoming in the allowing of releasing and knowing that at any given moment, I am free to leave. Asking myself every day upon waking. Do you want to be here? Just to be sure the nomadic heart and feet are aligned.

The trust, the faith that you only remember you have, when having had everything taken from you, or given freely, whatever comes first, however you decide to view it, the programmed distractions, the learning you must unlearn, becomes your inner compass and now you wouldn’t rely on anything else than just that. The ultimate knowing.

On this Moon-night I dream those dreams that let me understand who I am at the core of it all. Affirming why I’m here. The teacher appears reading the book of life, as he always does, and in my dream, he wrote it, and I begin to wonder who he really is and why I crossed paths with him.

It’s these rare constellations that casts a line back to that day where you didn’t understand anything and gently and carefully picks you up and sets you down, where you are once again safe. You linger in the past no more. You have called back your soul from those shocks. Important messages of ultimate protection and order, that is mysterious only at those hours where you don’t see the point. A whisper in the background, ‘follow through make our dreams come true, don't give up the fight, you will be alright cause there's no one like you in the universe, please let’s use this chance to turn things around, and whatever they say, your soul is unbreakable….’

Had we but listened to the clear signs, while screaming for help. Such is panic, and panic is also a state that sometimes needs to pass through us, a thought form to be known, and in the passing its blow lessens. And panic becomes known. Much like many other emotions. Remaining calm at the core is key, but then again if you never venture to the liminal spaces or even entirely into darkness, I really don’t think you will ever fully know yourself. Losing your mind is of course optional, and you can’t really, really, but in the trying you let yourself listen to your Heart and Soul instead.

The Seven Sisters now dancing on the Autumn night sky. Tying the dots in this celestial puzzle. The Winter is coming.

We’re past the Full moon. Her light is withdrawing. It culminated. The circle of rocks on the floor. The candle burned out. The wake over. The folding now, the calm that should follow is replaced by a storm. I like the omen. It’s how it all began. In a storm we decided to defy and meet.

The day is yawning and the potential stretching. Every ounce of stardust in my bones and the magic in my Air is weaving an open invitation. The silver and gold in the chord is shining brightly.

What are you waiting for? Begin….

​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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