Equinox


Earth Mother. She has been claiming hers over this Summer. We instinctively knew around the time when the wheel turned, and we arrived into Earthy constellations – the thread weaving from the Equinox, but the wheel was set in motion from even before The Solstice, accelerating from the Cross Quarter Day – and it paralleled and mirrored every action and event in our lives, our emotional states, intercations woíth our significant others, the feminine withdrawing, the masculine rising, the spheres in which we see, feel, hear and touch. It even brought forth the obvious alignments of the Heavens, the ones we seem to have forgotten we master within our own soul’s mystery.

The synchronicity intact and perfect when we compare- but we only have the wits to do so now- as distances have been made and steps taken, processing and layers removed. When the dust settled a clear image had formed. The direct correlation obvious.

Earth Mother. She cries her tears through me. She made me go look at patterns beyond my family. She called me to her. She placed things from the far past in my hands. I walked her dry and barren lands, feeling her pulse, feeling her cry for humanity, hearing her Songs, listening to her stories, crying her tears, remembering the times when we honored her Sacredness, celebrated her Rivers, honored her Trees and her Wilderness, respected and sought the liminal spaces, kept her Oceans holy by knowing it was an alive body taking on the color of the skies for healing purposes, migrating across her lands, instinctively, caring less for borders, caring less for anything other than what felt natural and in sync with Her. We knew Her. We knew because we were still curious and humble, we knew because we spoke Her language. A language most of us have utterly forgotten.

She teaches me the songs again. She dries my tears and holds me. She whispers the secrets I have always known. She makes me remember how I was called to the forest as a child. What I found there. Who I met there. How I danced there. How happy I was out there. Alone. No family. No friends. Much like the lonely feeling now. No domestication. How school supported me up until a certain time by teaching me biology, geology and taking me to nature to watch birdlife and trees, but then subtly, slowly, but surely, the programming to fit into a constructed world began.

How when I was unhappy, and that was a lot, she called me to her bodies of Water, she put pieces of Amber, fossils, shells and other treasure on her shore for me to find. To make me come back for more and cleverly there, along my many hours spent, She taught me the language of Waves.

She reminds me through these difficult heartbreaking times, who I am, what I know, what kind of woman I am. Who my Mother really is, what kind of pain I am actually feeling, where my attention should really go to, knowing that everything breathes together, the collective wound is underneath the apparent emotions.

So what am I actually grieving? From where comes the abandonment wound? The separation wound? The perfect phases within me and my own Moon mirroring the time shifting now, the potency withdrawing, releasing ancient wounds and pain I have carried for a long line of women before me. I celebrate that heat rising within me.

I am free. In ways that transcends this human Heartbeat. We are free. The many Moons of phasing, from Balsamic to New, igniting a hOpe, but the hope dies more and more as time goes by.

The urge for Wilderness then is being restored in me. The sacred Rocks, the bodies of Water. The singing lands I walk upon. The electricity I feel streaming up through my strong legs. I am Her.

Now this time is ending. This time almost complete for these kinds of teachings. I am sure new ones will follow. But times of weaving are here. Fluctuation. Instinctively knowing. It’s time. Solid foundation. HOme.

It brings us to the next Equinox. The next portal. 12 days. Go out there and reconnect. Listen to Her. Honor Her. Honor yourself and your connection to Her. She is YOU. We are only here, because of Her. YOU are only here, because she holds YOUR space.

​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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