Missing

August 30, 2018

Time plays with our minds and leaves marks on our Hearts.
Days full of events and talks and breaths and endurance that turns into strength and experience and age. It leaves memories, little marks, little lines across a face that smiled and cried. A song, a scent on a breeze, the faint memory of a touch of a hand on your cheek. The warmth, the caress, the last look in blue eyes before they turned starry and then closed.

 

Why do we look to the past? What is the fascination there? Perhaps it is the lacking understanding of our own action. Still questioning why things turned out the way they did. Why we are here today. How we are still standing in spite of everything that broke us to our knees, pain so unbearable that broke our hearts and we never knew how to trust, but learned to withdraw and stay in a safe place within that no one could see or touch.

 

A long line of ancestral burden. It’s time to put it down. The scripts, the vows to bear it, to keep bearing it on our shoulders, the constant pain in our backs, asking why, the answer simply, you chose to bear it for many- you scream you’re sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you into that void of soundless resonance, no answer comes, there is nothing but darkness in the beginning, you have no idea when or why or how. You must surrender. Forgiveness is the key to release the grudges, the blame, the anger that keeps you bound, the feeling of injustice binds you, you must forgive, it is the only way. Eons of pain and injustice done to you, just let it go. Release your Heart and breathe. Invite your Ego into the presence of gOd. You face and claim your own faults. You bring them to peace at last. You forgive yourself.

 

Release your vows, your contracts. Put the burden down now. You’ve worked on your shadow. It’s done. You’ve claimed it all within. It’s yours. The work is done. You’re just in the void of becoming, beginning, transforming. It’s the most magical place to be, though the memory of goodbye is still bringing tears to your eyes, you feel the new building, the new coming, you know you are moving on, merciless, merciful, it all depends how you you’re wired..

How does it feel?
How do you feel?


There is something in the lesson of balancing and becoming. The equanimity. Discerning of self. Empowerment. Residing in your balanced Heart. Poise. Incredible strength, though the softness makes you able to birth and hold space. The sacred Union within. LOVe and relationship between you and gOd. Your own journey. And then there is the companionship with a loved one.

 

What have you got? A pure Heart. A heart that loves. A heart that feels physical separation, because it is painful being separated from the ones we love. Whether they die, whether they leave or are just gone from us temporarily.

 

I’ve learned to honor that. To be grateful for that. Relationships like that are so rare. To love someone so deeply, just because you do. And you know you always will, because they touched your Heart and Soul in unforgettable places. Because they feel like home. Like they are from the same corner of the Universe you are. Treat them well, respect them, cherish them, nurture them, grow in them and honor them.
Because when they are gone from you, you miss them. Simply so.
Simply so.

 

 

 

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​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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