Sometimes when I withdraw my emotional reaction to things, I see things clearer. I can look at events and outcome culminating from cause and effect differently. Then I can let go of my taking things personally and instead know and see that all is happening just as it should. Better yet, it gives me the opportunity to remain centered. Calm in knowing that nothing is happening to me. It is me happening to these things because of this journey, discovery and maturity. I feel blessed, lucky even.
Certain events over the course of this Spring and Summer were giving me a chance to breathe. Slow down. Give and hold space. Understand something about true lOve. Wait for alignments and things catching up. Seeing I was ahead of time. You can’t smell the Roses when they aren’t blooming yet.
Detach and trust that if lOve was the core essence, I could let go. Just let go. And if things are as I believe them to be, lOve will find its way back to me.
Every day observing the progress of the construction site; whatever couldn’t stand, fell. For a long time, it was a mess. But then when the ruins were cleared and only the original foundation of solid substance was left, it began building again.. From lOve.
Compassionately I learned to withdraw my egoic needs. Stand strong within me. Turning my attention to my own life and the dreams I am pursuing. I detached and became independent. Found my strength. Pouring my energy into other things while holding that space.
The sacred space I am holding was my decision. I solely am responsible for my choice. It is one done out of lOve. Because I lOve. Whatever the outcome, I lOve. I am keeping to that promise. I did not shut down my heart for fear of rejection. Or for whatever the future will hold. Because I lOve. And I can’t stop. This lOve will not die. It is simply pouring from every cell and heartbeat.
In this sacred moment in time I choose to talk to those tribe-mates who keep me unwavering to truth with no sugar coating. Those are the support that directs me into truth and keeps me there. Without them, I would have gotten lost in projection and emotional analysis. Ego. Sharing my story, hearing myself telling it, I know I cannot approach it from any other angle than one of truth. Have I questioned myself a thousand times if I was blind, disillusioned, cheating myself or tricking myself into seeing something that wasn’t there? Yes. Have I disregarded it as well? Yes. It isn’t there yet, so all I have is my trust and faith. I return to trust, truth and lOve.
I am SURE that this is making be a better person. I am SURE I am held in sacred space as well.
I know that had I not been given this opportunity to grow and learn from detaching myself from my immediate emotional responses, I would have been forever subject to those. Some of us enter this world more emotional inclined than others. Some have a harder time for all kinds of reasons dealing with those. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Emotions are guides leading you to knowing more about yourself. Emotions are human, normal and ok. Some are bigger than others. Some are smaller than others. They change and fluctuate, phase and shift. They always lead to knowledge about YOU, should you want to listen and engage in curiosity.
I am grateful for the events that I happened to crash into this Summer. I honestly can’t say I am not.