Awake with a Prayer


So this is who I am.

Awake with a prayer. Awake with the strength of all the Angels I have been invoking. To walk with me through the veil. To see through all the illusions of the experiences of late. Powerful thing, reality.

Terror and trembles. Holding the breath, too terrified, too afraid to let time pass by. Knowing the dawn comes. The day comes. The bells chime. Calling in.

Awake in the night briefly to suddenly be filled with a vision. Knowing the truth underneath the events that will take place nonetheless. They always come at night, when the mind is unprepared. One glimpse of the madness waiting. Awake with a certain knowing that will not help today. Hope is left to live. I have no power in me to let it die.

Then asking to be held. Merges into a presence.

It is not a forceful one. Nor a boastful one. It’s a quiet liquid surrounding me. Courage isn’t something you achieve. It’s the quiet silent presence that is available to you only at the end of all things and extends her grace upon you. Mercy is yours. As I walk into a day I cannot possibly get through, knowing I will die today.

Peace may not be. Courage may not be. Faith may not be. Ability to go on may not be. Dying today. But mercy is yours. gOd will have seen the truth in our Hearts.

​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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