The Turquoise and the Bluestone. The tokens of everlasting friendship. Of love. Perhaps lOve. But not yet. Certainly not yet. Closer. Yes. We undergo so many deaths in this life.
It’s time to let that go, that I cannot take with me across the threshold of this portal. I know something new is birthing within me. The shift and the change so obvious. There are no more steps on this journey. It’s simply come to an end.
I find it strange, so strange, I guess, like trying on glasses for the first time and seeing for the first time, clearly, that I am able to smile, laugh, breathe freely, feel no pain at all, forget everything else except for the nOw, the nOw that was spent an entire day in a forest with a sacred lake and sacred sites, a full day of dancing, or at the salty air blue beach horizon with sand on my toes and icecold waves crashing up against me, or that day with people who share stories, who drop little clues, to other people for instance doing spiritual concerts in the mounds I am drawn so much to, or to finding a book on the place I have just discovered, to the women with the braids, whom I instantly recognized when first locking eyes.. I am alive, I am present.
Anything else but being here. My heart is alive and beating. The Sun is shining on me. My Sun is shining within and the burning feeling is absolute. Soon I am not the me I was. She will be all gone.
Pain is an illusion. I learn to trust, let go, surrender and feel that Heart. Feeling her connection to the One. The left foot of the constellation and all the wonders I can journey to, through, in, out.. I align to all the openings. Why worry?
I breathe deeper when fear sends an attempt to catch me, a poison instantly in my solar plexus. I breathe. Deeper. I cannot, I will not. It’s too long living in that prison.
I book the flight I know will take me to the place that has called me again to a Rebirth. I ask the angels around me, whose wisdom and insight is kind and compassionate. All steps are safe.
The Turquoise and the Bluestone.
I wrap them in a piece of white cloth with a prayer. The New Moon calls me. I bury them underneath the Pear Tree in my garden. The soil dark, sweet and moist. I pray. And let go. Back in gOd’s hands. Back to Mother Earth. Letting go of love. I don’t love anymore. I am somewhere.. in between.
The moment passes, and insight is replacing doubt. Faith. In lOve. Unwanting. Unexpecting. Learning instead to lOve.
Invocations to the open heart. A jOurney to find my self, my own heart, my free beats.
At night I open my window and notice the trunk looks exactly like the shape of a strong woman with strong thighs and a voluptuous bosom, raising her arms towards me, taking a step forward.. As if she is giving me something... We'll see..
I smile underneath the first stars of the night.
And go to sleep finally peacefully. Safe at last in my self.