As always at the sound and vibration of his voice, in those surroundings, again united with some of those people, who remember him, as I do, from when, I am carried out of my body and into a time in a desert, I can’t fully place. I see myself dancing with white and red scarfs blowing in the cool desert evening wind, a setting Sun over the golden rocks, the Stars above me are aligning in a certain way, speaking to me in a language I have forgotten, but instantly recall and understand, it’s more than knowing, more than remembering. It’s alive. It’s now. It’s out and in of time. The golden liquid burns in the Heart and runs through me, making my chest heavy and full of emotions I can’t express or understand in that moment as they find their outlet through my eyes and fall like heavy tears on my cheeks.
I see the portals spinning, opening and inviting me over, in, the centripetal and centrifugal inviting me to the beginning and the end, I could be deleted and erased and accept the return to source immediately.
The healing from that voice impacts and softly loosens the grip something has on my sOul. I let go. I see it. The tight grip.
The silent, original, eternal heartache we think we can’t seem to escape, no matter how much love we make.
The Spirit of actual time from when I sat here, in this spot, under this roof, with these people, singing those songs, hearing his voice, lifting me up, out and away from my body in the currents of physical time; through 4 years of journeying through endlessly slow moving constellations, ancestral legacies passed on, events to be, Sacred Heart Mountains to be climbed, countless initiations and rituals, star mapping and cosmic treasure hunts, collecting a frequency from Masada, to the calm in Assisi, the calling the Twin to me in the ancient temples of Malta, to collecting the magic in Iceland, to the Sacred Heart journey in France with this beloved White Haired Mystic, who too seem to have transcended out of his body while singing his sOul song and for a brief moment shows himself for what he truly is, for as I open my eyes to look at him through the tears, I see nothing but a bright blue shining star in a cosmic infinity. The layers and layers of ancient karma lifted and shifted, the sum of the 4 years since then..
I see her face in all this, the golden sOul above the Void, the co-creator, the New word-less. She smiles so softly to me. A knowing smile. An invitation to be above and beyond it too. To be more now than the archetypal embodiment of the woman who reacts to a collective energetic of thousands of years of unbalance between the sexes. To move beyond that now. Showing me there’s a place for us after that. A place of moving into peace. Strength. Wisdom. Unity.
In the spinning portals opening in these days before the Solstice gates can receive the offering, I realize I am the seed I must throw in the gap between dark and light. I am fertile with all I was, all the learnings, all the training I’ve done to do that dance. Stronger, leaner, more elegant from hosting a Teacher so wise, stern and persistent in the house on Fire for so long. It’s time. I am ready. We are all ready.
The Sun will cast his light on my back as I crawl through that passage, singing. Pregnant with song.
I am the Seed.
His song stops right then, and we all return to the present. Healed. Open to receive.
On this lovely, ice cool, star clear evening in this house of gOd, where his children are once again shortly reunited in praising this beautiful tradition, my tears keep falling. Not because of sadness. But because I simply can’t contain the golden liquid pouring from my Open Heart. This was his sole teaching all along. And I am eternally grateful.
‘Open up your heart, welcome love on in.. Where are we without the Fire within..?’