Un-afraid


There once was a Woman who said something like this when talking about how to deal with oppositions; which ones to embody trying to walk with an aligned consciousness of giving and holding space for both active components of your soul seeking expression on mutual grounds. Then there was a Man adding to explaining the experience of oppositions saying, that we must remember that opponents are there to make us aware that they are our greatest teachers.

Anyway; she said that living with oppositions in your soul script is like having someone knocking on the front door and the backdoor at the same time, determined not to go crazy over who to let in first, you go to the middle of your House and just yell COME IN.

‘Come in’, are the magical words that open doors from the inside out. Acceptance of what is at your door and won’t go away.

My sOul wants this, this is my magic spell, it’s one that works. There is acceptance in the Air, the time and space a beautiful, though un-pretty, raw healing compound of finally having the opportunity to work. To forge anew there in the very depths of my core. It’s a tiny little gigantic miracle. I am in awe of the journeywork arriving here at last. I am a magician, a power house of strength.

Deep in this forest, I’ve found the most intense healer, the medicine Woman, she hid there in the circle of the tall, green trees I dreamt about two years ago, the teachings here transcend any lore, but aligns with every myth in any book ever written, the same Library, the ones of the Soul, the collective, the long line of mates carrying the same scars, the same treasure trunk on their backs, the grand question of why oh why they have to carry so much pain, so many bindings, traps and constant attracting the same pattern, so much dark matter, until we collectively realize we hold our own key to the lock that keeps us prisoners in the dark tower. And in here, in that blackest of darkness, all we see is suddenly just un-created potential. Un-creation. Un-known. Un-ventured. Un-lit. A dark matter right there to be transformed into something else- and at our will. Will. Operative force, will.

Un is literally that. So you venture. Unafraid, if afraid, courage is always a medicine available to you, you find it when you need it, interestingly enough, or you walk away UN-ready.

The sum of all ancestral fears. Is all it is. But the light in our sOul has the answers, and we’ve known them forever. Forever and ever. Seeing through the illusions of that very fear.

I am writing Life Contracts with my SELF that are now binding. Those are new scripts. The becoming. A thousand veils have fallen. The makeup I now wear is different. The lines on my face. The body aching. The older woman, dancing with the ageless child my soul always is. She keeps me going. At the core of my sOul, I know who I am. That’s my bounty.

There is always hope in the world. There is always creation. We come, we go, we leave, we dance, we come back changed to the same negotiation, we live, we breathe, we are loved. There is a new sun rise. Every day.

I look at my book. I have read it a hundred times and I still don’t fully understand the language. It has a thousand doors. It opens thousands of ways. I’ve been opening those doors and ventured. Curiously. But now I sit in the middle of my House and just yell

‘Come in.’

I have a Fire going constantly through these days. Any present the visitors bring; we throw them in, seeing if when burned out they leave a sparkling diamond among the black coal, or if the flames were all consuming of an energy unable to transform into something precious. Anything else is unwanted for the journey on.

​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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