Equanimity

July 12, 2017

Definition of equanimity:
Evenness of mind especially under stress / mental or emotional stability or composure, especially under tension or strain; calmness; equilibrium.

The AS-trologer said: ‘This week is about finding a weave that has never been done for you before and entering into a different situation where you can do paranoid and completely relaxed at the same time, without actually allowing either destroy your equanimity of dealing with the legacy of numb presence, chaotic un-groundedness that took place growing up in your family.
Pluto and the Moon is bringing so much about the Femininity, mother ancestral bloodline to the surface at this stage, you can’t help but not notice the over lapse of scripts of availability/unavailability, availability / unavailability.’ 

I reflect and despair.. This is not just a 2 week thing over this Super Full Moon, it’s nearly 3 years transiting- Pluto.. and the lovely, moody, ever phasing, constant Moon, whom I am having such a hard time loving being autistic in my approach to order, patterns to be trusted to remain the same!

In plain English: The challenge is to erode the boundaries that maintain the separation, but at the same time discovering my independence within having no boundaries and not losing myself in having no boundaries but also not having rigid boundaries. 

There is nothing easy about this time. I am being asked to join in on multiple conversations at the same time. Some are interesting, some are uncomfortable, some bring up questions I have no answer to, and I have to walk this Earth alone. The aloneness wasn’t part of the plan, it was unity and togetherness at last, but as a dear sOul made me remember with much lOve and kindness just now, that things always work out…… - or they don’t.

I understand my nomadic conditions better and better the longer I am staying away from a permanent home, ironically unable to find somewhere on this Earth that will have my roots. The further I journey into this unstoppable dissipation of my self and jOurney into my sOul, the more I see why this is the perfect condition. Roaming. 

In the essence of a presence that lingers on after he has left, I feel my heart opening, just as he said it would. I have been opening it in this amazing lOve journey over the past two years. I can’t close it ever again. So I have to keep moving. Keep living. Keep passing this on. Alone. Together. I am lOve.

There’s a rune and a Bull in my cup.

 

 

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​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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