Full Moon Blows


’The brighter you shine, there at the edges of that shine the darkness lingers, attracted to the light..’

He sits there this Angel, sent from another Angel in the web of angels I am blessed with being part of, undisturbed by my obvious, physical visible chaos with such a calm, such Air of groundedness. The light he shines drives the clouds away. It’s lifting.

He reminds me of things I may have always known. Such is synchronicity when you feel the greatness of being a part of something bigger, something coming, something growing by the seed planted in this very moment. Creation.

By definition, simply, destruction is only destruction if something is destroyed. Attracted by a certain law of energetics, that when something that isn’t built from lOve endures too long, it must fall. It’s not a negative.

Simple wisdom. We tend to forget or ignore. At a cost.

I am thinking about these things over observing the course of the merciless Full Moon laden with all her passions, her emotions, her dark sides and intense force and blows of bringing up to the surface those tests and trials, that if only dealt with mentally, spoken about in theory but not felt, cleansed, purged and jOurneyed through, faced, acknowledged, made peace with, they are NOT gone.

Here comes the real exam.

It blows like an unforgiving and careless hurricane and my home is wrecked. I expected that, aware of the patterns, the 13th fairy uninvited to the party. I asked her to come. I was dancing through it, asking it to give it to me raw, as I do not want anything in my home that is not rock solid anymore. I’d rather own nothing, go naked. Done with the falsity of life in lies. So I asked her to swipe her magic wand over it and please take it away.

I am thinking about the Sun. How we praise the color of a flaming sunset, bathe in the rays of the light, but fear and neglect and demonise the night of our inner cosmos. The unablitity to go through raw emotions, hard times, though we know (or have forgotten?) that it’s part of any cycle, any life, any creation.

I am thinking of the dark side of the Moon. Why we can’t see it.

I’m thinking about the constant meetings with sOuls who embody the same pattern as I do.

I send a kind prayer out to my lover, who cannot see, still, his own darkness projected in my rawness, acknowledging that that’s the only place it exists, and it will live and be alive as long as he continues fearing that side of me. Unaware of why he has attracted that into his life. Still.

I pray, still, shedding the sadness.

We play with energy and the philosophy, apparently superficially, as when the matters manifest, there is still naive surprise. No one wants to catch the hot rock, when thrown about in the projection game; it will burn your palms. Without faith. With faith you take it and perhaps it burns, perhaps it doesn’t. If there is pain still, there is also healing. With wisdom you let it fall.

Where darkness rages in you, there is still work to do.

I think about how some people only enjoy the sunny days and fall into a dark mood over the rain.

I feel the divide as I am dancing bare feet in the wet grass under the heavy raindrops cleansing the blow in my system by a Sorcerer’s enchantment and healing sounds and making things run liquid again.

I'm thinking about our conversation about places, where parts of your soul will get stuck if you are not careful. The affinity in such places is the void of life. Affinity with the empty spaces within us. Perhaps they hold some sort of possibility for creation, and it's an unfamiliar darkness that seems scary, because it's unknown. But I’m not sure about darkness where light cannot penetrate.

It takes a lot of prayer, singing and light to call someone back from such places.

Right here in the afterbeams of destructive Moonergy many tears have welled and rolled from the deepest corners of the sOul, that still experiences living through the witchhunt- always hurting most when it comes from the closest heart connections. It spins though instantly a thread of pure forgiveness and The Blue Light shines brigther in me and over me over these days. There is lOve in my heart for him, and this is what lOve does.

I fall into a dream where I have to wear a blue dress, stomp my feet and call upon light to clear away the demon who wants me. I wake up feeling strong and at peace.

I am a child of light, the darkness really has no power over me. It accompanies my journey, as those are the laws of creation on this Earth, but it has no power over me.

​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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