New Moon in Cardinal Water


We’ve grown.

The euforic state that with its intensity released a lion chasing the release like a hungry animal, opened the wounds. The danger, the fear of entering and letting them bleed out. The sore spots always feel like a tickle until pressed harder, the tickle releases adrenaline and all the other sedating ‘-ines’ that follow.

Ironically they are endeavours. Beginnings. Excitement replaced by the dawning awareness of the potential risk and danger. The thrilled child reveals the impossible child, and suddenly it’s all about the child within. A needy monster screaming to be fed.

How to be a grown up in this world that honors and feeds the ego with too many stories. Have we accepted the need for applause and recognition? We praise the body and the look. We say it is ok to judge and condone a certain way to be and act. And coming hOme you break free from that sedative, seductive, but nevertheless illusory pattern. Clap your hands and stomp your feet. Cause when lOve calls, you gotta go. We do need to grow up and be responsible. To become the ones, we know we have to be. Must become.

The hurt child will blame the outside for its programming. The curious child will want to discover and explore. Change. Become. The impossible child can lead to the happy child. Once you become aware of the pattern. The loop of victimized belief. Forgiveness. The step away from identifying with your ancestors. We've done what they couldn't. Then action.

We’ve grown.

Into a mature Man and a mature Woman. Spotting the lOve we mirror within each other. The promise we made then holds suddenly a deeper meaning, that makes sense. Now. Like a golden goal we set for ourselves without knowing its true meaning. That no matter what happens in this crazy ride, we'll be here. That underneath the tiring battles none of us will win, there is peace. Two sOuls recognizing the other. Knowing.

I’ve travelled and journeyed into his every corner as he has through and with me. In there is the ‘Know Thyself’ transcended and merged. I guess. We keep chasing and choosing each other. And there is that door, now, wide open to let us out.

We've grown.

Time is change. Ride or die. Presence is the only real education.

A little help from friends, a direction. The stars as a treasure map, guiding lights above and within. Ve Ba Levi Yeshua. And I promise never to forget again. I am that.

Every wave is an entire universe. I praise my Ocean. Amen.

Photo by Bruno Dayan.

​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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