The scheme of Things


I only remember moments, though we have spent eternity together. I only know you today, though I know I have known you forever.

There were battles and open wars in the name of the terrified ego, that realized that once this union would be, it could not live. Its lies would be replaced with that truth that follows lOve experienced and taken in instead of pushed away. Truth.

The ego’s clever arguments, the intelligent words to make up stories, backing up the experience from the psychological drama portrayed by former actors like parents, former potential lovers, so called friends, truth sayers, so called clairvoyants having but the skills to tap into the lower layers of subconscious hopes and wishes, painting a nice sugar coated picture but again just that and not TRUTH; a more vibrant force, all the ego’s struggles for life serving really only to line up a dramatic, theatrical even, but easy to miss, masked play for the sOul to heed the cheering: 'Push harder through here! It’s this extreme to make you say.. ‘Hang on a minute…’ and then GET IT!’

These sOul dances of internal possibility for growth ARE what the soul calls for and draws to it subconsciously. Those constellations projected onto external events are easily misinterpreted by the unaware, and ego being strong in this world, where right and wrong seem to be so sharply dividing people into ‘more or less’ spiritual, ‘more or less’ awakened, these events are rejected and dismissed as unfortunate affairs and the sOul loses the opportunity for change, for growth, for healing.

From the phantom, the illusion that became reality, the ego confirming to the soul, ‘look this Earth business IS a horrible place, you are imprisoned, people will hurt you, you are in danger constantly, you should shield yourself and never trust anyone, and we simply must get out of here as soon as possible. Transcend, god******t, be elusive. Meditate yourself into light and love. Speak only in absolutes. You never have to arrive. Don’t be in the world. Then you’ll never have to feel the pain.'

Somewhere along the way, the sOul figures out, that that ‘pain’ is the cure. It’s your key to the world. It is in that tiny tiny room with no space in where you think you can’t breathe, can’t be in, can’t stay in, you simply MUST leave, that holds the door that lets you out. But you need the key first.

You came walking out of my dreams and into my life holding that key. Showed me lOve. That the small spaces are only the strong grip of an overpowered ego. It’s all in the mind. Showed me to be in the world. Offered me your hand and never let go, when I accepted it.

I wouldn’t have known all this without the journey with you, from every step on the way, even through those dark dark spaces that seemed impossible to breathe through.

We did this together. We are in lOve. We are free. From here we can go anywhere. I lOve you.

‘In this age of grand illusion You walked into my life out of my dreams You say we're growing, growing heart and soul

Just as long as I can see, I'll never stop this vision flowing I look twice and you're still flowing Just as long as I can walk I'll walk beside you, I'm alive in you

Sweet name, you're born once again for me And I'm ready to shape the scheme of things…’ Bowie, Word on a wing.

​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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