The wind comes like a gentle reminder. That I am best in my own element. Strong. Set free. I feel alive here. I feel good here. I remember what it feels like, the sensation. Today I'm pushed about, not pulled at. Reversed forces. As if to make sure I am kept flexible. Constantly. Yesterday was for rituals and sternness. Today is for fun and wildness.
From this other side of days, without the absolutes coming from a voice I have let talk too loud for so long, that it has drowned out my own, I look at control from somewhere else. From a place of ego, from self-preservation. It’s so much easier to say ‘I can’t’, walk away and stay in the not having to push oneself into the game knowing it will be demanding, terrifying, soul shaking even, cause your ego WILL die in the compromise and the demands of SOUL want. But without that journey of union, this purpose of life is wasted. The cost of not opening the Heart, entering the dance, whatever the road, whatever obstacles, whatever battles, the sticking together, the sticking up for each other and truly seeing exactly what love can do, is too high.
I look at creating problems and endless imperfections for the sole purpose of chasing impossible perfection, so that life will be always chased and never lived. So you can justify always walking away instead of walking along. So that love will be out of reach, because it is placed too high above human capability. It becomes an impossible, unobtainable dream instead of something you can have, a reality.
I laugh as I act on an impulse and decide to trust and let go instead. Aware of my own self lies, having acted on them before, knowing where they take me, I decide to not go down that road. I close the door. It’s enough now. It’s time to be happy. To let happiness be. Let joy be. Let love be.
Marveling at my own moment in time where I am the co-creator of a changing a pattern I cast myself out in the wind. Pushed. Roused. Shaken. My own force in my face.
I laugh. I am so in love. I am so in life.
Image by Cathrine Langwagen.