Salvation

January 11, 2017

Love is the only thing that can mend your soul.

 

A soul that after years of experiencing kindness, tenderness, faith and trust triggers raw explosions of anger and disappointment, seeing your mistakes and your inability to shine the light that is within you. You fail to be the YOU, that you are.

 

Fall down seven, get up eight. Nine, ten, until you get it right. You have signed that contract and it’s the only purpose of your existence. So you must.

 

It may seem to the outside world destructive and pointless. But it has a purpose. The Soul awakened from all this, slowly but surely remembers its childish states of what it is, originally.

 

Having been too long confronted with its fractured structure, it understands why it keeps hitting that wall that’s too tall, too thick. She built it herself with her own trembling hands for that very same purpose; to keep everyone out. For protection, mainly. But also for hiding her own horrors from the outside world so that they, hopefully, may never see how ugly she really is. The shame and guilt for carrying something so horrible around.

 

The frustration of knowing that she has to leap, but just can’t do it, that wall caging her in. But he keeps trusting her to. And patiently awaiting her to. The faith. That kind of loving heals her. At last.

There are things you just cannot do alone, when you have utterly lost all faith in your own ability to. Every time you try you just release more of the horror you tried to keep away. More destruction. It seems as if the programming cannot be deleted.

 

You need a little push. An opening to the you, you really are. Trust. Kindness. Someone who isn’t afraid of the dark. And refuses to make it real.

 

She asked for strength. ‘Tears may blind the eyes but the soul is not deceived.’  The tears ran dry. And then strength did come.

 

Knowing that now is the time she needs it, cause the sword fell, it cracked her being in two, separated her from the leech that was eating her light away. The leech of karma and hurt and horror, that never belonged to her, cause her Soul is fundamentally in lOve. And she is in lOve with him.

 

Prayer. Once seen. Asking for something else entirely. Asking for that wall to come down. Finally. Willingly. Consciously. Fearlessly, at last. Trusting. Having restored faith. Having seen behind it and knowing that she, too, is lOve. Seeing who she can be without that wall.

 

From someone else’s unselfish kindness. From someone else’s trust and faith in you. From true love.  

A whole life was saved. And joy came. Beauty came.

 

Only love can mend your soul.

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​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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