Final Ritual

She calls me again in the middle of the night as she has done before. All the beings are back in my room. My Heart, the one that is whole and was never broken, aches for this visit. I will come. There is a calling again.

‘Remember,’ she says.

My bones ache. Everything hurts. Everything. It hurts to breathe. ‘Come’ she says.

I will. I know where. I know the place. I have been avoiding it for many Moons on purpose. Unbearable memories and echoes of rituals and laughter.

But I come.

I dig a hole in the ground. I forgot my shovel, so I use my bare hands. This soil that smells so wonderful. I bury my vows from the Solstices that no longer hold a mission. I bury them here where everything needs to be reawakened. Where they have a chance to still vibrate and catch the Moon beams, the Sun rays and the starlight that shines at night. Where they were, there was too much dust and not enough light.

I say a prayer over them, that they may still have the chance to enter into Fall and the decay of Summer mistakes and bad decisions, to live again, in the darkest soil… A new Spring, in another life, some day. I pour the dirt on top of them in the hole in the ground, and whisper.. ‘Take good care of them, they are holy..’

I kiss Mother Earth and connect from the stomach into the Heart and let go. Let go, let go, let go.

I want to stay here in the late afternoon Sun on the ground surrounded by that ring of Rocks underneath the trees with the spiders and bugs, deer-kissed, leaf covered, to enter that same decay, dissolve and be a new person. Go to sleep and wake up in that Spring. And not be here anymore through this cold Winter coming.

'But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep..'