Alone. New Moon Eclipse


It’s in that one moment of Darkness that the seed is planted. It needs the eclipse. The moment of Sun And Moon and the sum of all constellations where the worlds align, the light replaced by dusk though it’s midday nearly. There’s a pause, a hesitation almost, in the hands of gOd that decides, that awaits the cry of humanity.

The phoenix that rises again over that ocean by night and the eagle that takes into flight and finds him to deliver a sign he misreads, the wind that rushes through the trees, the hope it delivers, once again. She heeds the signs and omens, but he hears not the depth of the eons of importance they carry. His rage makes him blind to his own light.

The witch hunt begins again. The constant and tiring battle of the sexes.

The Moon and Sun change place and the myths shift and we misunderstand. The battle begins. Again. The chase and the hunt. The weakness and the strength. The mistake of egoic obsession and a shut base chakra that sees not its connection to eternity and dismisses it as fantasy. There's no game against that. No reasoning. No words strong enough. It’s the encoding of archetypical fallacy. The ego dna and the soul dna.

And the thought forms retrograde and we reconsider, reverse, take back, erase or just rediscover, and the dust rises and put more than sand in your eyes and all is foggy and blurry while you scratch your eyes to get a better vision.

We don’t see things that are relevant with our eyes, we can’t rationalize through our minds. We are for days helpless, useless, disconnected to usual control systems through this desert.

In the dark moment that seed is planted or removed.

This is not what I intended. This is not my way. I erase all footprints, swallow the words, disintegrate the thoughts. What remains is pure form. Origin. A tiny golden thread. As yet unmatched. Wielding solely from my heart of my soul. It’s no physical thing. In there is my DNA. My path. My destination. My own. He keeps uninviting himself, the Male. Falls for the fallacy and the tiresome disillusion. The typical witch hunt of blame and fear for the female power. Perhaps he sees not his own true power there for him to purposefully just wield and stand in, why does he rage against mine so much, when he has his own? Why the blame and victimization?

So for now I walk alone.

In regret and feel lonely and off course, off purpose. I read the web again and again. This is not what we came here for. That carefully considered agreement, sought for eons, all the constellations that had to come together for this special lifetime to occur out of all universes and spaces to be possible, and THIS is how we choose to use it. This was not the purpose. And I feel sad. Mistaken. Useless. Pointless. Like I have utterly wasted my one chance. My one purpose for this life. Unable to inspire. Unable to evoke love but instead suppressed and subjected to fear.

I disregard, discard, cleanse, return to purity, I have been polluted by projection, by attacks, by anger, by destruction, by everything that I am not. And my thoughts took onboard every accuse. And made it real. And I felt ashamed. I was crucified by accusation. But only because I obliged. And in the bleeding I realized this: I laugh as I realize there are no thoughts in this world I could ever think. I am.

I know better. I am light. I return again. I am free.

And I will see him again in another life, perhaps. Or perhaps tomorrow. Eclipsed and new.

​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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