‘All the books of the world full of thoughts and poems are nothing in comparison to a minute of sobbing, when feeling surges in waves, the soul feels itself profoundly and finds itself. Tears are the melting ice of snow. All angels are close to the crying person.’ –Hermann Hesse
After the surge comes peace.
The world has spinned out of orbit to a galaxy far away and back again. The parallel walkabout in a mad reality where it would have seemed like nothing made sense, if only it wasn’t so painfully obvious.
An infernal like condition, it seems is the shortest way back to knowing there is a heaven and we are ultimate light.
The shock captured and frozen in my whole system is being released through intense, loud and uncontrollable sobs, finally understanding and realizing what I just went through. I cannot remember when I have ever been so terrified but also never so brave. Perhaps that pair go hand in hand. It’s the only time you’ll ever need that amount of perseverance and strength. As such the only time you'll ever know the depth of who you are. A gift, really.
This is the hell we create for ourselves when going against the knowing we do have the ears to hear and the wisdom to know. The power within to change. To leave the past and walk into a better future. Through the wormhole of this present into a new beginning. Learning from mistakes and leaving the rest behind.
The hope that remains is enough to create an entire new Cosmos. Endless creativity. I hear that hum again. New symphonies, new words, new cadences.
I cry. Tears of release. The courage I just walked through Hell with. Let it go and fell. Tears of endless and immense gratitude. Finally being released from the hell like prison of endless karmic retribution. How long were those constellations within my system? From how far away and long ago are those tears coming? I might be crying for whoever is in the same situation. I hope so, just to release the entire thing already, so there are no more matching energetic roaming freely around in this sphere and everyone may be released. This sort of condition needn’t ever find anyone’s basement ever again. Be gone, be gone.
The heart cracking, breaking open, letting new light in. Back to life. Back to reality.
I’m out of hell. The sun is shining.
And better yet.. I can breathe when he says he loves me.