Everybody knows...


I know this one week since last Thursday has been so strange, energetically. The world has been mourning our Prince.

Irrationally, and just deeply emotional.

I didn’t know him personally. As I didn’t Bowie. I just feel with them both that they shaped my life and ideas by their music, lyrics and energy. Deeper and more lasting than any parenting, if you get me.

Bowie was with me in every dark hour and understood, delivered and supplied with his voice and special feel the strength to go on, cause I knew he was with me. Prince had the same effect. He shaped and inspired different things, naturally.. But the feeling is like losing the closest friend you could have ever had, cause they were with you in the most intimate and secret inner world of yours where no explanation or words were needed. Just sound and vision.

I reacted this week, emotionally, because of parallel events that coincided with being irrationally emotional. I learned a lesson in being emotional apart from this collective vibe, it seems more of us have been picking up on.

Sometimes we don’t cry because we are sad. We mourn, because it’s tragic when something or someone dies. We also paradoxically mourn when love is finally something we understand is here. In our lives. When we realize there was so much love in the path that led us through those raw unloving moments of our lives. When we were tested. In pain for believing how much we lacked love and for how lonely we were, and yet so enveloped by love all along. When the tight grip of a nursing and protective self part ways with us to let out the truer self, it’s like saying goodbye to an old friend. Friends come in many shapes and forms. Goodbyes are necessary. Emotions are not logical.

Anaïs Nin expressed it so truly and simply and it says so much: “I have such a fear of finding another like myself, and such a desire to find one! I am so utterly lonely, but I also have such a fear that my isolation be broken through, and I no longer be the head and ruler of my universe.”

Death comes in so many shapes and forms. We know it’s part of living, the dying.

Joy and sadness are each others companions. Perhaps cause one of them will always have led one to the other at some point. But ultimately, when we reach that state of awareness, where we realize we are truly loved, perhaps for the very first time, naturally it sends waves of emotions through us. Perhaps we are emotionally reactive and receptive in proportion to just how incredibly much love there is to be felt and had and shared in the world. That energy is when it touches our hearts the equivalence to the force of a wave from a tsunami. Overwhelming. We can also cry just because we are really, really happy.

I’m sure Prince loved us all so much, that he just couldn’t stop making us so much brilliant music. We ultimately know that we are not sad because he passed, but because we are grateful he loved us so much. That’s his legacy. That’s his vibration that he left here with us and now we see it mirrored in all the good, sad, funky, sexy, fun, heartbreaking, happy, playful and whatever emotional moment we may have had with him..

I think it’s that beautiful human nature. ‘Always cry for love, never cry for pain..'

​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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