I am that I am


I respond to the nightly call from my Forest. It manifests by Her standing white and clear, comforting and soothingly healing in my room in the middle of my sleepless night, telling me I have to come. She needs me to see something. And she needs to take something from me. The feet know their way to the Sacred Well, and although the Water stopped running from underneath the forest floor, there is enough Water left in the small pond to bless my sight with clarity and courage. I see then, clearly, that when I surrender the need to control and walk a path I thought I had been given and instead just go with the flow, I am taken to exactly where I need to be. The white feathers that keep falling from a sky above that holds no birds assure me, I am truly protected, guided, blessed and certainly not alone. I am loved by Divinity herself. Light walks with me. As I then walk off trail, she points to me that The White Soul Mate Snail is still there in the leaves. The White triangle Stone that I pick up fits perfectly in my hand. The thrilling and surprising shriek from my She-Hawk. The call always lifts my spirit and today it speaks directly to the wild nature of my soul as I realize, she is staying through this dark and cold winter. One more blessing from the sacred energy in my Stone Circle as She wakens me to know again, that I have my power. That I should never forget who I am. That I am loved unconditionally. Unconditionally. ‘Take back your power,’ she whispers from her leafless branches. The sound is hollow and sad. ‘Walk tall and know who you are..’ The Knowing in my Heart is the seed I am already carrying with me, ready to cast into the gap between the Dark and the Light in a few days. Ready to leave the old behind. That which no longer honors me and serves me. The song I am singing now, a new song, is echoed back to me from amongst the trees. It’s an honest one. A promise of tomorrow, not today. I know who I am. The White Deer crosses my path. He stands there and we lock eyes for a brief moment. I know what he tells me. I know his medicine. I realize that the forest is the same. I thought she had died or that what was left of her origin had gone to sleep. I was wrong. The only thing different is the sound of the Wind through the Trees. Leafless they have no song, only a crying-like howling. Like ghosts. She’s showed me what I needed to see. The magic is still there. Nothing has changed. As I leave I know she did take something from me that was never mine, and I am better off without it. To be truly free. Not soul caged. And I know who I am.

​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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