Music for Hearts

November 30, 2015

Here in the magic of our night I catch his glance. 
It takes my breath away every time I am lucky enough to catch it. I know what the doors behind his eyes offer. 

The many unlimited ways he sees me, make me able to be everything I could ever think of. Free is one. Loved is another. But loving is the best. And when I enter and look, I learn to know myself, just from how he looks at me. 
He sees me.

Because of that, tonight something is changing. I feel it, and it’s too late to object. 
‘But….I am the traveler. I can observe and dissect you and pick you apart, but mine is a private place, that keeps my independence. The very essence of my soul.’

But he’s already journeying through me, easily inside as always, but this time I feel the relief of letting the guard down. Curious to feel how it would be. Not being alone in there. Trusting him. Now he’s in. He gets to see it all. No one has ever been in there before. No one. He even peeks behind the blind spots and lets me know how it looks. 
‘Did you know…’? 

The state of complete shock as he tells me, makes me almost panic. I feel in those moments, that I have lost something immensely valuable, something I can’t get back. It’s too late. I have surrendered. 

An intuition sparks and makes me follow the visions in his eyes as he carefully watches everything I am. 
It’s overwhelming and surprising. It’s too late. He’s seen it. All. From jus
t how much I am in love with him to the very enemies of my soul. And I have nothing more to hide. It’s done. So short. So violent and raw that I have to cry. Not because I am sad, but because something has to give, and thus the water runs over. Because from what I see from following him in there closely, seeing what he sees, feeling what he feels, I understand finally, that in that same movement of letting go and exposing myself to this, is the same moment I get exactly what I need and always wanted. What my soul wants. 

He will never tie me down, stand in my way or violate who I am. He is the same. He's built the same way. He needs the same. 
He tastes like stardust and somehow we have the same hands. Noticing that, I can't help but feel that it's perfect for giving, receiving and agreeing. The exchange for our souls' freedom is entering the feared emotional prison, the cage from where there is no escape, and seeing it is an illusion. 

We let each other out. Staying here is by choice. And I realize I have lost nothing, I have gained everything. True freedom comes from this. 

The moment builds from the flickers of light in those impossible to catch fleeting tiny universes of eternities. The blue lights that are close to invisible if not observed sharply like spotting a shooting star burning across the night sky, knowing its durations is shorter than a thought, no longer than a gasp. Quickly then, making the same wish again and again and again, and in those moments of reality checks, that same Universe responds by creating those events that could easily be translated, if appreciated as such, to ‘granted, granted, granted..’

From those locked looks of ours so many wordless conversations incoming ongoing beginning taking place finishing up at the same time, that he may reply to something I asked him somewhere else in another life, or 30 years ago but never got to it, in another dream or behind whatever door he opened that I entered and exited in an alternate mirror-existence and whatever we’re off doing.. But when he does, I know what he means, and we can be everywhere and nowhere or here at the same time. Time seizes to exist and we begin to just be. In flow. And that is how love works. That is how we work. 

All this from the secret glance that I cleverly catch a second before he tries to escape it. The smile that shows I caught him off guard. 

Here where time is a little slower we are well aware that we just rearranged the physics a little. The night holds us close to her heart. We are her favorites. As we exchange the words she offers, run through her dark streets, laughing and out of breath, music finds us. Music for Hearts. 
We are time travelers. Play mates. Twin flames. True lovers. 

Nothing could ever express more, than catching a moment that reveals a myriad of sentiments just by the way he looks at me. Whether he walks through my door or I enter his. I know it leads to the same place. 

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Camila Reland 

+45 20 74 52 96 

​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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