Something I write grows arms and fists and punches me in my face. It literally knocks the breath out of me and tears well up as I stop, full stop, at the sentence that comes from the combination of letters, the question from gOd to myself or from myself to gOd. How does that question come from me?

'The Mirror', the voice inside whispers.

‘There comes a time when the Symbol is used up. And then you have to get through it to get to the other side. It’s like journeying through your own Mythology and merge with the collective. Enter spheres in where you don’t know who you are as a person, but you will recognize yourself because you have merged with IT. Peace. Love… gOd, if you will..’

My teacher’s words are soothing and healing.

The endless chase of symbols, praise of the symbols, the right dates, the right numbers, the right constellations.. will not hinder nor enhance the purpose if the timing is off, if gOd will it or won't. IF you will it.


I am still mystified and confused. I have no idea what the purpose of this is. And my reflection led to the question that punched me in my face.

STOP RIGHT THERE! This is the crossroad. From here on in the choice you make is YOURS. This is the journey you do alone. This is where YOU meet PURPOSE. The teacher will appear on the other side of choice.

Today I have to take myself out of the equation for a while. I am camping out here in my corner of the World where I am literally watching the grass grow, the Moon grow and wane, the Sun rise and set, the wind turn, the flowers bloom and wither.. The crack is approaching, that one moment in time to plant a seed, again. But then we are back in that dead end with chasing dates. And the symbolism that no longer serves as anything but a choice YOU make. A representative for an energy, whose full vibration you cannot receive until you have worked your way through the door. Layer upon layer. Will you open the door and journey or will you stay and linger? Content with where you are or will purpose call upon you? Why stop here when life is so long?

But what is the point with all this if there is no purpose? Why this immense work of orchestral maneuvers of grandeur to create a symphony of such proportions if then the Maestro decides to simply not show up?

Why then this foresight? Why this intense, rich inner life of happiness, peace, sheer beauty and LOVE, when the outer is so empty and poor?


I go inside. These words come to me..

'The single honest intent that comes from the call of the heart, the honest integrity of intention that in its fulfillment will be kind to all, has true direction and will echo and therefore be heard on the walls of The Universe. That call is stronger than all the noise the ego may or may not make.

Will you give it a try?'

Peace comes inside the Flame. I see that the symphony I thought was complete still needs a cello, a violin.. The impatient noise my ego makes is just that.


And until the Maestro appears we are just rehearsing. It doesn't change the Opening Night coming.

The grown woman who has just received initiation on a date, which WAS important and one of a kind, has also walked several mountains and received an important answer and now carries a lit flame inside.


Very well. We continue.