Camelot


My journey began long before I realized it.

I am reminded that there was a trail before the trail. An opening before the closing. A key that was forged before this life. Which in that other life I buried safely somewhere between the stars, and accepted the waiting for the right constellation to align me and the others with this quest for the finding of that very key. With better conditions. With new opportunities. After the healing of the wounds inflicted.

In that space we waited.

Subconscious little drops of that secret were disguised as something my mind perceived as memories made clear, slowly but surely as an image of inspiration took shape. Me from somewhere else reminding me of something I knew before, and now need to know again.

The cosmic treasure hunt sent me in that direction. Asked for access. Granted. Followed the steps. Went. Felt. Saw. Learned. Grew. Ready to take in more.

I see myself from the eyes of my She-Hawk in the Forest above me, walking towards the Stone Circle on the Field, knowing I’m not her Prey. I hear her thoughts: 'She’s not my prey. I’m a guide.'

I see myself talking to The White Lady in the Tree, that will not tell me her name. Yet. There is a journey to be made before I am worthy.

I see The Lovers who won't part ways. And the embrace that is suffocating and not free. That lean on each other is making them tired.

I venture on my Soul Quest. My search for The Holy Grail.

In the Labyrinth I ask to walk the path that is turned upside down. Since I am already journeying on the inside. Upside down seems only appropriate and somewhat expected.

I am not so sure, now, home, that I did not only get exactly what I needed, I got so much more that has just begun to dawn upon me. This is merely scratching the surface.

I am reminded of the saying, ‘Careful what you wish for.’

Also of the message that kept singing in me along the many steps taken in the mountains journeying in the footsteps of the Cathars that carried the Holy Grail with them. Of the Light of the World and the pledge and the promise. ‘You have chosen the path of the Heart. It was never the easy journey!’

I am home and in my own Forest. I know I am not the same anymore. What I bring everywhere is a projection of my affirmed knowing inside. What do I bring to this party? I am Woman now. And a different one. I know why I buried that key out there. I have seen why. I have made friends with the Gate Keeper. In the same movement as I accepted and obeyed his will, the gesture was returned and reversed, and he now obeys me as much as I obey him. There is balance. It's a dance.

The Lovers in the Stone Circle tell me I have transcended them. Love is free flowing now.

There is a thread here:

The Polar Bear Medicine before The Quest. 1.

The White Male Goat Medicine right after the Initiation on The Venus Mountain. 2.

The White Deer Medicine in The Forest upon my return. 3.

The White Lady of the Tree at the end of the Stone Circle is already there waiting for me. We have a private conversation, and she says I am now ready to know her Name.

Her Name, The white Lady carries, ties it all together. I put the Key around my neck.

It fits The Lock in The Door. Soon.

This Journey is only about to begin.

​© 2020 by Camila Reland

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